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Uhhhhh... just one of those days when you clap your hands together and say: OK, bring me a rope and point me to a nearest tree. If I had one like that left to the end of my days, I'd just say: fuck it, bring in the undertaker, I can't be bothered with this shit anymore.
First I had to run around doctors, because of my stupid eyesight is so poor they won't give me a driver's licence for more than 5 years - I honestly couldn't see half of the stuff in the second line already - well, let's leave it aside that if they actually saw me drive, I think they would have revoked the one I have. My colleague described my driving style as "a getaway driver". Kind of like the Taxi movies. Yeah, 's all good if you car doesn't happen to be lit up like a fucking Christmas tree with all the lights indicating what's wrong with it. My Harry Potter test (Which HP character are you?) pointed me out as Bellatrix Lestrange and the description ended:"... also, you're a little crazy." Erm, thanks. I suppose they were right, not everyone drives 150 km every bloody day with a clearly faulty car. Fuck it, I'll probably die of pneumonia in the end. :P
So - my Bellatix-ian attitude swooshed out at the doctor today, where they kept on ignoring me - and when they weren't ignoring me, they were sending me from one door to the other to wait in front - no one actually open any door to let me in - and there was another young mom with kids there in the same situation, all nervous, because she had to go to work. So when another person, who came after me (mind you, I had an appointment!), was let through the door, I saw red. Literally. I'm rarely this rude. I wouldn't let the door close and I just burst in and gave them a piece of my mind. Loudly. I don't give three flying fucks about their excuses - that they're understaffed - don't you go and solve those problems on my back, talk to the management. Or I will. And being understaffed is no reason to be disorganized - how much does it cost to make goddamn cardboard numbers for people to take, so you know who's turn it is? My 4 year-old could do that for them, no charge! And of course, cause I yelled the loudest, I was treated with speed and respect. It's that what it takes? :(
Then there was another doctor, another hour of pointless waiting - with appointment again, how poorly organized can they be!? - which was so bizarre in the end that an old lady went to ask at the reception desk if they even work. Spending some quality time with my kids during their holidays, huh? :P
So when I was done, I went to the shop to buy my boyfriend some fruit and whole-grain bread, because he started with fitness and he was running short on his health-food supplies - and I'm trying to be supportive. And instead of a thank you, I get "I can buy my own food, you know". So my world really went to shit.
What.A.Fucking.Asshole. I knew I should have stayed single. If I can't have love, I will have respect, you daft dork and I'm waiting for the kids to go to bed to tell you that! If you can buy your own food, perhaps you can also pay your share of the fucking bills so we don't have to pay more when we get a notice. And why the fuck can't you learn a language of the country you've been living in for the past 13 years, so I'm stuck with calling all the installers and drillers and whatnotshits when you want to find out something!? Is it too much to expect at least some manners, some kindness one hopes to find in their own home, not this fucking snobbish attitude you stink with!? Yeah, I'm a right bitch tonight and I should not be around people. Burn world, burn.
And then he knows he fucked up and walks around me like on the egg-shells. Well, grow some fucking balls and apologize, you fucking rag or I will breathe malice down your neck for days to come! I'm not the world's most vindictive person, but when I get hurt, my defense mechanism turns me into a right monster. I'm not the crying type, sometimes I wish I was - but I'm completely able to nurture my "fuck off" attitude for days..Make that weeks. Easy.
Perhaps one would think I'm over-reacting, but those people don't get to live my life and they don't see the full picture. I know I'm being treated wrong and this is just one event in the long string of neglect and just plain "wrong". I was tired and out of spirits today, so he stepped on a land-mine. Perhaps he should think better who he tries to walk over.
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