Darling, thanks again for this wonderful present and for the comment and the rec - seriously (or Siriously, LOL), I've got about a million things to thank you for - and the inspiring comment like yours is the kind that gives me the energy to punch they keys on my lap-top late into the night.
The incident with my son was totally scary. He was tired from having to learn for the oral examination date and I guess he was at the end of his rope. Out of the blue - literally - he came downstairs sobbing that nobody loved him, that I loved his brother better, and that he didn't want to live anymore. All that with a giant butcher's knife pressed to his neck. I was just standing there like an idiot, totally disheartened, and I told him: I love you like no one else, little man, but I can't save you from yourself. I can't walk through life that one day you'll take a step too far, that's no way to live. If it happens it happens, but you can't ever think that I don't love you, because I do. You're going to need a better reason than this, so put this damn thing down and come get a hug. And he did, but I was still quite shaken a few days after. You know, you don't discover how much you love your children until they give you no reason to, and that's a god's honest truth. He's growing up and towards puberty and he's had a very difficult year behind him, so I understand that he's in a bad place, but you literally can't help anyone that doesn't want to be helped. I get up every day knowing there's a good chance he's either going to hurt someone or hurt himself and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it, so you just try to brace yourself for the moment. I talk to him a lot and I make him tell me his problems - he's not a teenager yet, he still does :) - so that sort of takes some of the pressure off his shoulders, but still. I can't save him, I can only pick him up when he falls, and I hope he makes the right choices. I called the clinic for autism but they told me he was still too young for pills so he needs to do psychiatric treatment for kids first - waiting line is 90 days, so let's hope that helps.
Thank you again for finding time to lend an ear to my problems - I'm sure you've got plenty of your own to deal with, so I appreciate it. *clings on to you friendliness like a two-year old*
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ninetydegrees
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The incident with my son was totally scary. He was tired from having to learn for the oral examination date and I guess he was at the end of his rope. Out of the blue - literally - he came downstairs sobbing that nobody loved him, that I loved his brother better, and that he didn't want to live anymore. All that with a giant butcher's knife pressed to his neck. I was just standing there like an idiot, totally disheartened, and I told him: I love you like no one else, little man, but I can't save you from yourself. I can't walk through life that one day you'll take a step too far, that's no way to live. If it happens it happens, but you can't ever think that I don't love you, because I do. You're going to need a better reason than this, so put this damn thing down and come get a hug. And he did, but I was still quite shaken a few days after.
You know, you don't discover how much you love your children until they give you no reason to, and that's a god's honest truth.
He's growing up and towards puberty and he's had a very difficult year behind him, so I understand that he's in a bad place, but you literally can't help anyone that doesn't want to be helped. I get up every day knowing there's a good chance he's either going to hurt someone or hurt himself and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it, so you just try to brace yourself for the moment. I talk to him a lot and I make him tell me his problems - he's not a teenager yet, he still does :) - so that sort of takes some of the pressure off his shoulders, but still. I can't save him, I can only pick him up when he falls, and I hope he makes the right choices.
I called the clinic for autism but they told me he was still too young for pills so he needs to do psychiatric treatment for kids first - waiting line is 90 days, so let's hope that helps.
Thank you again for finding time to lend an ear to my problems - I'm sure you've got plenty of your own to deal with, so I appreciate it. *clings on to you friendliness like a two-year old*