Gah, I'm sorry about the family stuff :( How old is son #1 again? It may just take him longer to learn, I guess, given the Aspergers - a friend of mine ended up having a breakdown around the age of 14-15 before zie learned how to control hir problematic areas, but zie did manage. Obviously I hope #1 doesn't need to have a breakdown first, but maybe things will work out in time? *hug*